Day 2... I guess

Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears

1. I am afraid of the dark – I guess this started when I  young…? I can’t explain it, but anytime I’m alone (and even sometimes when I’m not) in the dark I shake and hyperventilate. I almost always sleep with computer on. I guess it’s the whole uncertainty of the darkness and relying to heavily on my sight that really makes me uncomfortable. I have to visualize my surroundings and gage my level of safety to be comfortable enough to relax. My mind just goes wild in the dark, creating ridiculously vivid scenarios of my death in various ways (also I’ve probably watched too much Criminal Minds and that crap’s whack).

2. I’m afraid of being alone… forever – Once upon a time I lived alone for a week. I made my friend Nicole come over for two nights so I wouldn’t have to sleep alone in the dark (see above). There’s just something about the gripping silence that comes with living alone that scares me. What if I were to choke and die, alone, in my apartment? They wouldn’t find me until my neighbor’s dog started smelling me from the hallway (+10 points if you can name that show). This is all very weird because:

3. I’m afraid of commitment – This is actually a new found fear of mine. I realized it this summer when I had a bunch of opportunities to date these really awesome guys, but for some reason, when they started getting really close, I shut down a literally felt nothing anymore. It was weird because, growing up, I was always pining after romance and obsessing over which boy I could date next. But I’ve come to realize that since then I’ve had a few really crippling heart breaks, and I was introduced to the fear of failing in my relationships. It’s sad, really, because deep down I want to get married and have a family more than anything, but the mere thought of that right now just makes me nauseous. What if I make the wrong decision? Luckily, I’m still (very) young, and I have both time and the Lord on my side.