Best Friends... I Think

So the 11 of you that follow me know me pretty well, at least 8 or 9 of you do at least. You all know that I have this friend. Her name is Claire. I blog about her upon occasion because she is my best friend and we're probably two of the funniest people on the face of this planet. Our friendship is kind of odd, but it's lasted over a span of about 7 years now in which we had a long distance relationship for about 2 or 3 of those years, only to be reunited at BYU. Occasionally she writes/co-writes a post or two on my blog, usually during our Saturday Hang-Out (time we set aside for one another).

Every day.

I thought I'd share with you a little piece of our friendship here. On Saturday, I woke up to here texting me about our plans later which includes looking at bridesmaid dresses (she's getting married in April). After showering, I come back to my room to see that I have a new e-mail from her. I opened it, thinking it was something concerning a bridesmaid dress I'll be trying on later, but instead, this is what I found.

Yeah, I think she's a keeper.

The Choke Hold

In Physical Science the other day, my friend Shawn and I were discussing the way couples walk when they're with each other, instead of listening to the lesson on disorder (I know enough about it anyways).

He was talking about how he saw this couple walking arm-in-arm in what he called the 'cuddle walk'. He compared it to Private Ryan when the soldiers carry the wounded ones to safety. In other words, he said it kind of looked like this:

Even the soldiers don't like it. 

It made me think of all the awkward things that humans do as couples. We sit on each other, hold hands, press our lips together, entangle are limbs about one another, just to name a few. While I can handle most of these (I'm a pretty affectionate person), there is one 'gesture' of love that I simply cannot take. I call it The Choke Hold.

Can't you see they're in love?

Normally this happens when a really tall guy wraps one arm around his rather petite girlfriend's neck as they walk towards there destination, or as they eat lunch on the same side of the booth because they love to be nauseatingly public about their romance. As a petite girl, I've had many a boyfriend attempt this move on me as he walks me to my door, or as we meander about the park, or the mall or something. Heads up, It's not cool guys. 


Surprising fact: Most girls don't like feeling like they're about to fight for their life in the octagon. Crazy, right, but there's something about your pit being shoved up against our face as your bicep tightens around the nape of our neck that just dosen't do it for us. Crazy, right?

So the next time you're saddling up next to a pretty lady, think about the message you're trying to send out? Do you want her to think you're challenging her to a WWF match, or do you want to snuggle?

"An artist cannot fail; it is a success to be one."

Punny

Those of you who know me well are aware of the fact that I have an adoration for puns. Doesn't matter how painfully lame they are, most likely you can get a hearty laugh out of me if you happen to tell me one (+10 if I haven't heard it yet, +15 if you can slip it into every day conversation). 


My roommate Sarah is dating this guy, Nat. He's pretty awesome. Now, one of Nat's and Katelin's, my other roommates, favorite things to do (probably not, but really) is listen to me go on and on about my puns. Usually they're laughing at me laughing at puns. 


Some of the ones I laugh the hardest at are:

What did one ocean say to the other?

Nothing. It just waved.

Do you sea what I did there?

I'm shore you did.

When kissing flowers, tulips are better than one.

He dropped a computer on his toes and had megahertz.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion

Let the groaning begin. I'm telling you, these puns just crack my up. Like full blown, snort worthy chortling that can last up to a full two minutes. 

Then, there's the history related puns. 

 It's obvious from it's title that no one was a big fan of the Boer wars.

 After WWII, German patrol boats, known as E-boats, were sold on none other than E-bay.

In Ancient Israel, once men pretending to be the Messiah were exposed as fakes and could no longer accept monetary donations, they're followers were considered a non-prophet organization.

These puns are clever. If you ever really want to win me over, slip these into any history related conversation, or just tell them to me. Chances are I'll be rolling on the floor with laughter in no time. 

I found these ones just after Valentines day. It's a shame I didn't see them sooner, although I may have found my Valentines for next year.

Have any good puns? Share them with me in the comments, text me, or find me and tell me in person. You know I'd love to hear them!

Happy Anna Howard Shaw Day! (a.k.a Valentines Day)

This is the best video ever:

On another note, I just read an awesome post about Valentines Day that reminded me to "Choose to be happy, despite the bad things". For 20 years now I've been without a 'significant other' on Valentines Day. True, last year I had a date and it was a lot of fun, but it was a first date, and there were no more to follow (mainly my fault). 

For the longest time I have chosen to be bitter about the fact that I'm always single on this day, and no one's ever going to love me, woe is me, pity pity pity party. This year is going to be different. Even though I will be working from 3-9 (that's one way to focus on something else, right?), I plan on doing things to help me focus on the good things in my life right now.

For example, I made it to Spanish class on time today (although, not making up for it by writing this post during it). I will also go running today because I really need to and I know it will make me feel so much better about myself. I also am going to clean my room and get some writing done. 

While it may not be the most romantic 'to-do' list, it's perfect for me to focus on myself in terms of health and happiness. Today I'm at a point in my life where I'm really happy with myself and the decisions I have made, no matter how hard they were to make, not matter how much I didn't want to make them. 

Love is grand, and one day I'll have it, but I'm feeling pretty good with my Singleness. This Valentines day is definitely going to be the best one yet in terms of loving myself. I'm going to focus on becoming a better Bailey so that one day I can have a Valentines Day with someone, because I can't love someone else if I don't already love me!

So, In the words of the woman I aspire to be (haha): Happy Anna Howard Shaw Day to all!

How do I feel about this?

Actually, I feel pretty good :)

I Needed to Hear This:

"Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow'." -Thomas Monson

Inspiring

I want a love like this.

New Years Resolution

Thriftiness- the 9th element of the boy scout chant. This word encapsulates the very theme by which I guide my life. Why throw something away when it can be recycled? Why buy something from Target that could easily be purchased from Honk's Dollar store? Why buy more than is necessary? I live off of the bare basics. Honestly, I see all of my Provinian friends living in lavish apartments costing them nearly $400 in rent each month when I am perfectly content with my Sierra Designs Zeta 3 tent. I feel empowered to live off of the land. Each week I go hunting up in the canyon (I requested a special hunting permit which was given to me on the basis of my looks). This permit enables me to hunt weekly for deer, bison, and the occasional turkey. While up in the canyon, I also collect a variety of berries, mushrooms, and grasses. Often, Claire, my best friend in the whole entire world, will tempt me with a trip to TJ's. Once or twice I have given in. However, each time I have surrendered to her charm, I have been shamed with guilt. I have committed this year, 2012, to never step foot in a filthy department store again. Some might call me complacent but I am merely thrifty. My compass, tent, and salt (this allows me to pack the meat for the winter) enable me to live a bare-bones life style. I am perfectly happy with this and feel no need to justify my style of living.

Bangin' Bangs

I did it! For the second time, I got my bangs chopped off. It was a really spur of the moment decision and I don't regret it. Last time I got them, I wasn't completely sold on them, but this time around I LOVE THEM.

Before:

After: