I wrote again.

For the first time in years (not a joke) I wrote... really wrote. I just sat down and let it rip until my fingers numbed from slamming against the keyboard. Then I sat back and examined my work, and I realized something: I am a depressing person... at least tonight I am. I would like to think it was worth it though, because I was able to just get myself onto the paper... or document I guess.

It was interesting too because my reason excuse for refraining from writing as of late is a lack of inspiration, but after tonight I realized I was just looking in the wrong place. Someone inadvertently inspired me tonight, and for that I thank them. Reading their work made my heart flutter the way it does when I listen to Taylor Swift's 'Love Story'. They weren't being romantic or anything, it was just that my response to the words they used gave me miniature hart palpitations. It was beautiful and raw and slightly depressing, and I fell in love with writing all over again. Suddenly I was overcome with the desire to write like I haven't written since I was sixteen. I wanted everything I was feeling to be reflected in my work, wether it was happy, sad, frustrating, or even, heaven forbid, SEXUAL (haha).

SO I DID IT. I wrote. And I wrote and wrote and wrote and wrote and wrote (that one's for Mitchell). And at the end, I smiled because I felt this incredible release of emotion. Sure it turned out incredible depressing, BUT I DON'T CARE BEAUSE I LIKE IT. I do. Of course, I'm incredibly inexperienced, therefore it could use some a lot of work, but overall I'm happy with it because it's real.

Not sure if I want to share it with you guys yet, and it's not because it's inappropriate or anything, but rather, I'm afraid of how you will take it. I'm afraid you'll think I'm someone who sits in bed and sobs day after day eating bon bons and watching the six hour remake of Pride and Prejudice (oh wait...). I'll think about it. MAYBE, just maybe it'll be my next post.

In the meantime, word to yo mother.

xo

bailey