Distractions

Last saturday I had a final due at midnight, and I trekked my sad little self on up to the library hoping that I could focus on it there and get it done in time to go to work. False.

Some how, I managed to attract the attention of a male specimen. Two, in fact. Of all times to attract men, this was not the time! I needed a crack down. Things needed to 'get real'. I mean, seriously, where were these dudes when I was aimlessly wondering about the library a few days earlier? Where were they when I sat alone at a table eating my lunch?

Obviously I attract the opposite sex when I try to act studious.

As my time in the library came to a close, I enlisted their help with my exam. Now, before you get your panties in a bunch about this, please read what my professor wrote at the top of our exams:

"This is open book, if you think you need any books. You can refer to the text, look up things on the internet, ask people on the street, whatever."

Best class ever, right? I figured they qualified as something a little higher than 'people on the street', and that asking them to help me rewrite a short piece of fiction to 'intensify the tone' would not result in a one way ticket to hell.

This is what I got:

"To hell with this place. I never liked the smell of the valley. The damp, blah, blah, depression in the earth made for a sickening swamp of a lifestyle.

They never did anything to deserve this. They have their ways, we have ours. What’s the difference? How dare we encroach upon their way of life? I’m losing focus. Ef this."

No joke. That was word for word what one of them wrote on my exam. He literally ended his rewrite with 'Ef this'. At that point I lost all hope in getting my work done and turned my attention to finding a sub for work instead.

Of course, that night my computer decided to die on me (for good this time) leaving me in a panic as I rewrote half my exam at 11 p.m. that night. At least my professor ended up liking my memoir. I wrote about this event two years ago.